From 2003-2006, writing partner Christian Peterson and I developed and wrote for SportsGoons, a sports satire website. Our site is no longer live, but I will be posting some of my favorite articles, starting with this one:

Channing Frye Totally Gets Larry Brown After Reading “He’s Just Not That Into You”

New York Knicks center Channing Frye, who’s been playing for coach Larry Brown off and on for five months, says he’s come to the realization that Brown is not serious about him after reading He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. “I was talking to Nate Robinson about how Larry didn’t want to commit to making me a full time starter, and he recommended the book,” says Frye, who has had some time to think about his relationship with Brown since injuring his knee two weeks ago. “Nate said it helped him deal with Larry’s mixed messages. He realized that it wasn’t a case of Larry being busy, or not getting a voicemail. Larry just wasn’t that into him. And you know what? He’s not into me either. It hurts to say that, but I’ve got to stop kidding myself.”

Frye said that for months, he’s been waiting for Brown to come around, but now he’s ready to let go and look for someone who will be serious about him. “I told Larry I wanted to be traded, and he asked me not to go. He said he would change. He said he was going through some things. But I told him I was done. I told him I deserved a man who truly likes me and not one that I must constantly make excuses for,” said Frye. Frye says that he knew it was over when he walked into Larry’s office and found him talking to Malik Rose, promising to give him more minutes. “Larry’s a total player. He bounces around from guy to guy. He never settles on a rotation. I’m glad it’s over.”

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 6, 2006 IN VOLUME 4 ISSUE 7