According to Phil Carson of Phoenix, AZ, roommate Jeff Watts spent the entire weekend in Nike running pants, though he never worked out. Watts, a 26-year-old bartender, slipped them on Saturday afternoon to watch college football, then proceeded to use them to check his email, set his fantasy football roster, and downloaded music. Late that night, he wore them while eating at Whataburger.

“Sunday, he put on his running pants and his cross trainers when he woke up, so I thought he might be going for a quick jog,“ said roommate Carson. “Turned out went next door to buy some weed from our neighbor Mouse.” That night, Watts used the pants to drink 14 beers before blacking out and drunk-dialing his ex.

 ORIGINALY PUBLISHED ON OCTOBER 16, 2003 IN VOLUME 1 ISSUE 1